Steve Farber is interviewed by Robert Thompson and Mike Neiss on their weekly talk show, Thought Grenades on BlogTalkRadio. Listen in as Steve chats about his best selling book, Greater Than Yourself and other things leadership, including Steve's own GTY project:

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Steve Farber, author of Greater Than Yourself: The Ultimate Lesson of True Leadership, the president of Extreme Leadership, is a leadership consultant and speaker, and the author of the national bestseller The Radical Leap, and The Radical Edge.

Many people who call themselves leaders are only posing. They’re wearing the label or accepting the title without putting their skin in the game. I invite you to approach the act of leadership as you’d approach an extreme sport: learn to love the fear and exhilaration that comes with the territory. And that takes a personal commitment.

As Terry Pearce writes: “Many people think they want to be matadors, only to find themselves in the ring with 2,000 pounds of bull bearing down on them, and then discover that what they really wanted was to wear tight pants and hear the crowd roar."

If you choose to leap into the ring, do so because of your love of the challenge and adventure. Love is what makes the fear of the “sport” worthwhile. You accept the fear as part of the experience, and fear creates and defines the experience. Extreme would not be extreme without fear, and fear would not be worth it without the love of the game.

The same is true of Extreme Leadership—the dynamic interplay of fear and love. Those who actively use the experience of fear and love daily in their attempts to change the world for the better are Extreme Leaders.

Extreme Leadership is intensely personal and intrinsically scary. You are striving to change the nature of things, and that’s a scary endeavor because you’re asking yourself and others to give up the familiar. It is scary because you have no guarantee of a positive outcome and don’t know how you are going to be judged; your credibility is on the line. Therefore, you can’t participate in an authentic leadership experience without fear.

While it’s true that fear can save your life or keep you from doing something stupid, avoiding it can also keep you from doing something great, from learning and growing. Fear is a natural part of growth, and since growth, change and revolution are all on the Extreme Leader’s agenda, fear comes with the territory.

Your experience of fear (or exhilaration) is your internal indicator that you’re moving in the right direction—that you are leading. If you’re using all the buzzwords and reading all the leadership books, and holding forth at every meeting on the latest management fads, but you’re not experiencing that visceral churning in your gut, and you’re not scaring yourself every day, you’re not doing anything significant—let alone changing the world—and you are not leading anyone else. 

Take  a Radical LEAP

Extreme Leaders take a Radical LEAP (love, energy, audacity, proof) daily.

L: Cultivate love. The Extreme Leader’s personal credo is akin to this theme: Do what you love in the service of people who love what you do. Many consider the emotion of love to be inappropriate in business; they believe that good business people keep their hearts out of their work. The opposite is true.  It’s the heart that brings the fire of creativity to bear and inspires drive, loyalty, and leaps of innovative brilliance.

Love is a key element in productive leader-follower and coach-employee relationships. To be an effective coach, you have to care about the person you are coaching. It’s not that you should fall passionately in love with everyone you work with. However, you need to find something to care deeply about in your business and in each individual that touches your business. And it has to be real—and they have to know it.

The key, then, is to find a way to genuinely and sincerely love your customer, for example, and then act from that level of motivation. Great business relationships are won in ways analogous to romantic relationships: by paying nearly obsessive attention to the needs, desires, hopes, and aspirations of the other person; by knowing not only when to stand firm on your principles but also when to sacrifice your short-term needs for the long-term relationship; and by proving through your actions that you mean it. Extreme Leaders actually love the customer and strive to enhance their customer’s life.

E: Generate energy. Energy is real, tangible, and palpable. You know when you have it, and when you don’t; you know when you have to drag yourself out of bed in the morning, and when you have to use the law of gravity to slide your slack, lifeless body off the mattress and smack on the floor.

I can tell within 30 seconds of walking into the reception area of a company whether the place is energetic, exciting, and scintillating, or a morgue. And unless it’s a morgue, it shouldn’t feel like a morgue. It’s not an accident, either way. Someone is creating that environment; and if it’s your place of employment, that someone is you.

Ask yourself: “Do I generate more energy when I walk into a room, or when I walk out of it?” Some people are walking vacuums of the human spirit. They are energy vampires. All they have to do is walk into the room, and they instantly suck the life out of the place. Everyone else seems to wither and die—until that person leaves. Be sure that you’re not that person, that you put more energy in than you take out.

Energy is what keeps us coming back to work day after day without waning in passion or enthusiasm. It comes, in part, from having a higher purpose. People want to feel a passion for the company’s work, to become part of a higher purpose. The Extreme Leader’s job is to help define and redefine, day after day, what that higher purpose is—and that’s very energizing to most people. As Michael Cunningham writes, “If you shout loud enough, for long enough, a crowd will gather to see what all the noise is about. It’s the nature of crowds. They don’t stay long, unless you give them reason."

A: Inspire audacity. Audacity is a bold and blatant disregard for normal constraints. Love-inspired audacity is courageous, not impudent (the word, courage, has at its root the word, cor, meaning heart). The Extreme Leader is courageously audacious in his or her actions. As Carly Fiorina said, “A leader’s greatest obligation is to make possible an environment where people can aspire to change the world.” That’s an audacious statement of purpose, and it begs the question: “How are we going to change the world?"

That’s the right kind of audacity, and it demands a bold and blatant disregard of the most insidious constraint we impose on ourselves: I can’t do that. I’m not Ghandi, Mother Theresa, or Martin Luther King; I’m just me. Frankly, that’s a dangerous self-inflicted constraint. And, it’s a convenient lie; in believing that lie, we abdicate our responsibility for changing the world to someone else.

You have direct influence over the world of your industry, company, team, community, neighborhood, family, or person in your family. These worlds are no less noble, they add up, and they are within your scope.

So, step up to that challenge and ask: How can we change the world of our employees, customers, and marketplace? That’s audacity. I admit, it’s a much easier question to ask than it is to answer—and do something about. Even so, you have to do some something.

P: Provide proof. Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner have shown that credibility is the foundation of leadership, and they define credibility behaviorally as Do What You Say You Will Do.

You have to put your skin in the game, put yourself and your reputation at risk. You have to prove yourself through observable, daily action. It’s insanely easy to talk a good game. Do you say you love your team? Prove it! Do you say we need to be bold and inventive for our customers? Prove it! Do you tell your folks that they’re your most important asset? Prove it in every action that you take.

When you say, “I can’t do that here”or “they won’t let me,” your credibility as an Extreme Leader is shot. When you’re convinced that you can change things for the better, you have to prove it through the radical courage of your action. Gandhi said: “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

We typically express accountability as what we desperately want other people to be. While change, improvement, and success are ultimately the results of a collective effort, nothing ever happens unless you hold yourself ridiculously accountable to your own words. That’s how you prove you’ve earned the status of Extreme Leader. That’s how you prove you’re not a poser.

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 This article was originally published in the June 2010 issue of Leadership Excellence magazine

Steve Farber, author of Greater Than Yourself: The Ultimate Lesson of True Leadership, the president of Extreme Leadership, is a leadership consultant and speaker, and the author of the national bestseller The Radical Leap, and The Radical Edge.

It's time for us to set a new gold standard for what it means to be a leader of substance and influence. We need to pick up where many "programs" leave off by realizing that it's simply not enough for us to be helpful coaches and advisors to the people around us at work. The greatest, most successful and well-respected leaders that I've encountered in my two decades of consulting, advising, writing, and speaking are not just helpful: they've come to understand-sometimes consciously, sometimes not-that the true measure of their greatness as leaders is their ability to develop leaders who go on to surpass them in skill, influence and ability-who rise to a level greater than themselves.

There are pitfalls, of course. Devoting yourself to another's elevation potentially carries a whole boatload of emotional and/or egotistical freight and baggage, for example. But I won't argue those points now or try to convert the skeptics; instead, just for the sake of this discussion, I'll assume you're with me on this and offer these 6 steps to help you get started with a Greater Than Yourself endeavor of your own:

1. Choose Wisely While, ideally, Greater Than Yourself (GTY) is something you should do with many people ("all people" may be a bit of a stretch for even the most high-minded among us), it's often best to start small. In the beginning, you should choose one person as your "GTY Project." But choose wisely. Pick someone you trust and deeply believe in. It should be someone whose personal aspirations can be served by your unique experience, skills, values, and network. Be conscious and deliberate about the qualities you seek in your GTY: pick someone who has the drive, energy, heart and desire to take full advantage of what you have to give them, and whose values are congruent with your own. And-most important-it should be someone you (dare I say it?) love. Okay, I'll accept "deeply care about." If I must.

2. Open The Door and Invite Them In Sit down with the person you've chosen and have a frank and open discussion about what your intent is for him or her, and make sure that they're willing and up to the task. Let them know that your job will be to do and give whatever you can to raise them up above yourself in capacity and success in the appropriate arena. For example, my GTY project, Tommy Spaulding, wants to excel in the arena of writing and public speaking-my professional playground. In the very beginning, I made a commitment to Tommy that I'd do everything humanly possible to help him become a better-known, more influential author/speaker than I am, as long as he was willing to take full advantage of the opportunities and contacts, etc. I would offer to him. He was.

3. Hook Them Up Think through your entire network of contacts and determine who would be valuable to your GTY. Who can help? Whom should they meet? Then open the floodgates and make all the appropriate introductions. Hold nothing and no one back. I introduced Tommy to my favorite speakers bureaus, my business manager and my publisher. He got his first book deal through those contacts, and his debut effort is coming out this fall. (It rocks, too! I'll be posting about that soon).

4. Sing Their Praises Think of yourself as the advocate for your GTY's value and talent, and talk about them every chance you get. Shine the spotlight on their accomplishments when they have them. Look for opportunities to let others know about your belief in this special individual.

5. Practice Tough Love Someone once said that feedback is a great gift until you get some on you. Of course you'll want to offer plenty of words of encouragement, but you'll also need to hold them ridiculously accountable to their own goals and aspirations, which means smacking them around when necessary. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

6. Demand the One Commitment GTY is fundamentally selfless act (think of it as The Golden Rule on steroids), and you should expect nothing in return, no quid pro quo. With one exception: demand that your GTY take on someone else as their GTY, and so on down the line. It's the old pay it forward approach, and the implications of such a commitment are significant.

The idea of changing the world has become more than a little cliched, of late. But this on-going commitment to another's enrichment really will add up. Maybe it won't change the "whole wide world," as we used to say when we were kids-but it can certainly change the world of your company, your business unit, your team, or your community.

And I can't think of a better, nobler way to set a new leadership standard.

Click here for more resources to help you in your GTY endeavors-including an audio lesson on "Choosing Wisely."

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Steve Farber, author of Greater Than Yourself: The Ultimate Lesson of True Leadership, the president of Extreme Leadership, is a leadership consultant and speaker, and the author of the national bestseller The Radical Leap, and The Radical Edge.

Steve Farber says, "Extreme Leadership is the intentional act of changing some piece of the world for the better."

In this mini documentary, Steve Farber gives an introduction to the 4 principles of Extreme Leadership: Love, Energy, Audacity and Proof; and how they're being used by Kineticom, an Inc. 500 company. The content is from Steve's books, The Radical Leap: A Personal Lesson in Extreme Leadership, and, The Radical Edge: Stoke Your Business, Amp Your Life, and Change the World.  This 8 minute video includes live footage of Steve speaking to an audience of 17,500 people.

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Steve Farber is a leading business motivational speaker and the president of Extreme Leadership, Inc-an organization devoted to the cultivation and development of Extreme Leaders in the business community. His best-selling book, The Radical Leap: A Personal Lesson in Extreme Leadership was recently named one of The 100 Best Business Books of All Time. His second book, The Radical Edge: Stoke Your Business, Amp Your Life, and Change the World, was hailed as "a playbook for harnessing the power of the human spirit." His newest book, Greater Than Yourself: The Ultimate Lesson of True Leadership, was recently published by Doubleday/Random House.

A while back, I received a distressed email from Ken, a young manager at a high-tech company.

Ken and I had never met, but he had read my first two books and had done his best to apply the ideas and practices of Extreme Leadership to the way he'd led his team.  To their culture, their work ethic, their camaraderie.  When necessary, Ken told me, they would band together and work hard - 10 to 20 hours a day at times - to solve a problem or meet a pressing need.  Ken's wife would cook food for everyone and bring it to the office. They felt like a family, he said, committed to doing great work and devoted to one another's success.  No one ever complained, least of all Ken. At one point, he'd even forgone his bonus so his employees could collect theirs.

And then something happened. A downturn, a re-org, a shift in the management structure - we all know the drill.  Ken still had a job, but his position was eliminated.  New management full of old ideas came in to oversee the department's function and the emotional fibers that connected Ken's team to each other and to their work unraveled.

"Now," Ken wrote, "for the last 4 weeks I sat at my cubicle, web surfing for 8 hours a day at the same company where I once worked 39 hours straight with my team to make things right, never going home.

"I'm not a quitter; I don't want to leave.  But - just or unjust - I feel stripped of everything we've done" he said. "So the advice I'm looking for is this:

"How do you get back up?"

Even though I've spent the last 20 years coaching leaders and consulting to management teams, I was still loath to respond.  After all, I had only the sketchiest of details about Ken's situation, and it was just presumptuous of me to assume I could help him with a few pithy words of advice. Nonetheless, I did have an idea for him, and I instinctively felt that it could make a huge, positive difference in Ken's life - and in the life of those he worked with.

And it wasn't the kind of management or leadership advice you'd expect.

It's already become a cliché to say that we live in unprecedented, challenging times.  We all know it.  But the truth is, the world of work is always challenging.  That's why they call it "work."

No matter the industry, market, or type of company you work in, you've had to deal with some combination of the classic work-place obstacles, issues, and barriers to a successful leadership experience.

At some time or another, for example, you've reported to bosses or people in positions of "greater authority" who were self-centered at best, and idiotically egotistical at worst.  They took all the credit and none of the blame and could care less whether or not you succeeded or failed.  Or worse, they preferred that you'd fail, and took great pleasure in your struggles because they felt it made them look stronger.

Or perhaps you worked in a company that, even though populated by terrific human beings, was so obsessed with the bottom line and shareholder value that you were forced to make strategic decisions that compromised your own employees' abilities to serve the customer.  And as your employees grew more frustrated, the customer sat levels plunged, which made you and your employees more frustrated.  And so on.

You may have been in an environment that was hyper-competitive to the point of paranoid, risk-averse to the point of stifling, or so political that it made you consider running for local office just to get some relief.

We've all experienced some combination of these themes with varying levels of intensity.  And we've all spent some amount of time and energy navigating our way through the challenges that come from trying to lead in those conditions. It's just the price we pay for being managers.  And human beings.

Now, add to that the current, sucking implosion in the economy, and it's easy to see why, with all our efforts to be positive, productive leaders, we still get knocked down from time to time.  Sometimes way down.

Our knee-jerk reaction in times of crisis is to hold on tighter, to be more cautious in our actions, and more protective of our resources.  We think that our way out - or up - will come by virtue of shoring up and hoarding what we have.

There is, however, a much more powerful course of action, which - though counterintuitive in these hyper-competitive times - is based on a timeless reality of true leadership:

Your own greatness as a leader lies, paradoxically, in your ability to cause others to be greater than yourself.

Said another way, your (and my) best way out of a leadership challenge or crisis is not to focus on your own peril or rut, but, instead, to reach out and try to boost someone else over your head.

The idea should sound familiar.  It's really just a variation on the "do unto others" sentiment of the Golden Rule, a philosophy that exists in virtually all religions, schools of thought, and philosophies on the planet. And in none of those versions - not one - will you find a footnote saying, "Does not apply Monday through Friday between the hours of 9 to 5 or in any situation where a paycheck is involved."
So the solution I offered to Ken was this:

Instead of wallowing in your own despair, pick someone at work to invest in, with the intent of making that person greater than you are.  Be a coach, guide, or mentor in the truest, most personal sense of the words by choosing someone to be your GTY (Greater Than Yourself) project, and see what that does to your own predicament, your own state of mind.

Maybe it was out of desperation, but as surprised as he was by the curve ball I'd thrown him, Ken took my advice and agreed to the challenge.

Two weeks later, Ken wrote to say that he'd thought deeply about our conversation and had come to realize that before he could lift someone else up by sharing his knowledge and experience, he needed to be sure that he had learned the right lessons from the recent team trauma.  So he'd met with his boss, and asked for feedback on how he could have acted differently, what he may have done to contribute to the problem, and how he could be a better leader in the future.  "The 30 minute meeting turned into a 2 hour confessional," said Ken, which resulted in him learning some hard, "gold lessons" about himself.

"Now," he continued, "I've already started to work with a tech on my team who wants to be a manager.  And I'm taking a vow," he said, "to make the people around me better - as I continue to grow myself.  I'm going to teach my children about this, too."  Ken, it seems, has gotten his energy back, and he's well on his way to getting back up - by lifting someone else.

We're all human, just like Ken.  And just like him, we all get bashed down from time to time.  Next time, try to resist the temptation to pull yourself up by the proverbial bootstraps, and reach out to pull someone else up, instead.  Go find someone to be your GTY project, and ask them to do the same.

And don't be surprised if - through your example - your whole organization, company, or team rises to establish itself as the new gold standard of leadership.

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Steve Farber, author of Greater Than Yourself: The Ultimate Lesson of True Leadership, the president of Extreme Leadership, is a leadership consultant and speaker, and the author of the national bestseller The Radical Leap, and The Radical Edge.

Do you have a GTY project? Tell us about it below.

"True leadership is not about calling yourself ‘leader'; rather, it's about taking up the cause to change things for the better. It is an extreme act rooted in love and motivated by a desire to create a better world-whether it's the world of your company, team, neighborhood or family." - Steve Farber

As the best-selling author of one of The 100 Best Business Books of All Time, an accomplished senior-level leadership consultant, and a frequent guest on news-talk shows around the country, Steve Farber has gained a reputation as a "leadership guru" in his own right.

In this short video clip, Steve talks about one of his programs - based on his bestselling book, Greater Than Yourself: The Ultimate Lesson of True Leadership.  Learn the three steps that will give you the competitive edge; and how dedicating yourself to bringing others along so that they can achieve more than you is the ultimate way to boost talent, ramp productivity and create truly significant current and future leaders. 

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Steve Farber is a leading business motivational speaker and the president of Extreme Leadership, Inc-an organization devoted to the cultivation and development of Extreme Leaders in the business community. His best-selling book, The Radical Leap: A Personal Lesson in Extreme Leadership was recently named one of The 100 Best Business Books of All Time. His second book, The Radical Edge: Stoke Your Business, Amp Your Life, and Change the World, was hailed as "a playbook for harnessing the power of the human spirit." His newest book, Greater Than Yourself: The Ultimate Lesson of True Leadership, was recently published by Doubleday/Random House.

 

So, how'd we do on Black Friday?

The National Retail Federation reports that while the number of shoppers went up compared to last year, the average dollar amount spent per person fell-telling us that "shoppers are willing to open their wallets for a bargain."

Well...have I got a bargain for you. What if you could give someone a really special gift that will cost you no money at all? And what if that no-cost gift could significantly change another's life?

Well, you could and it will.

You can give YOURSELF as a "gift" to someone you love by taking that person on as your GTY Project (and if you're a bit behind on the GTY curve and don't know what I'm talking about, watch this video to get up to speed).

We've put together a gift certificate for you to present to your GTY Project. It reads, in part: "With this gift I promise to pass along my Knowledge, Give My Time, Deliver to you my Connections, Life Lessons, Insights and Counsel....With this Certificate, I dedicate Myself to You and Your Success."

Please download it and-more important-USE IT. And then encourage your GTY to do the same for someone else.

I wish you and yours the happiest of holiday seasons.

Now...go change the world. One person at a time.

Download your Greater Than Yourself Gift Certificate here.

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Steve Farber is the best-selling author of one of The 100 Best Business Books of All Time, Greater Than Yourself.   As an accomplished senior-level leadership speaker and a frequent guest on news-talk shows around the country, Steve Farber has gained a reputation as a "leadership guru" in his own right.

Original interview with Steve Farber by Dan Schawbel posted on the Personal Branding Blog

A lot of people think personal branding is only about self-promotion.  What are your thoughts on this, taking into account you're all about leading/helping other people?

"A personal brand that's "only about self-promotion" is just another way of saying it's a lousy brand."

Think of it this way: A company/product/service's brand effectiveness is determined by its ability to convey unique value to the consumer. Coke's brand would be worthless if its promise was something like, "Drink Coke so we can make money."  The same is true for your personal brand: it shouldn't say, "Do business with me because I'm so awesome"; it should say, "here's what I'll do for you." In other words, if your personal brand doesn't convey the essence of how you're going to help other people, you've missed the boat altogether.

Personal brands don't scale, which is why teamwork skills are highly applauded and encouraged in the workforce and for entrepreneurs leading a group of employees.  What are some leadership skills you recommend people develop?

The most significant leadership skill, in my estimation, is the one that requires your putting to use all your other leadership skills, wisdom and experience. And it's the one skill that does make your brand scalable: your ability to create and develop other leaders who go on to become better leaders than you are.  The truly great leaders at work-and in life in general-become so because they cause others to be greater than themselves. And if you do that in a conscious, intentional way, the greater leaders that you help to create will go on and do the very same thing for the people around them, and so forth. It's the proverbial ripple effect. That's leadership scalability, and if leadership is part of your personal brand, you've extended your brand's impact well beyond your own immediate time-and-space-bound influence.

Can you explain your leadership cycle:  Expand Yourself, Give Yourself, and Replicate Yourself?

If you're going to take the idea of making others greater than yourself seriously (I call this practice GTY, for obvious reasons), you have to start, paradoxically by focusing on yourself. You have to Expand Yourself in order to have more personal resources to invest in and give to others. You need a deep and expansive sense of who you are, and you have to be getting better and better, more competent, smarter, more experienced and more connected to others all the time.

All for the purpose of Giving Yourself, because the real payoff comes not in the hoarding of the resources, knowledge, and experience you've expanded, but in the giving of those things to aid in another's personal and leadership development. And, finally, you Replicate Yourself by getting the expressed, verbal commitment from others that they'll go out and do the same for the people in their lives.  Kind of like the "pay it forward" idea, but applied specifically to human development.

When it comes to networking, what is your take on giving value to others without asking for anything in return?  Why do most people fail to capitalize on this gesture?

"We probably fail because we focus on the wrong perspective. We focus on the gold instead of the golden rule."

This do-unto-others sentiment, otherwise known as the "ethic of reciprocity" exists in literally every religion and productive school of thought on the planet. (Including, by the way, humanistic atheism). Everybody says it in their own way, but it's clear that Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus and atheists all agree that human beings should do good for other human beings simply because it's the right thing to do.

And nowhere in any of these traditions will you find a footnote saying, "does not apply Monday through Friday between the hours of 9 and 5 or in any situation where a paycheck is involved."  But-again, paradoxically-the act of giving without an expectation of quid pro quo is what usually brings about the greatest material returns.

Throughout your career, looking back, what would you have done differently and why?

I would have started practicing the art of Greater Than Yourself a long time ago. I'm proud to say that I've helped a good number of people in my career, but I wonder how many more truly world-class, world-changing leaders I could have had a hand in developing if I'd have done my small part in perpetuating this GTY ripple 20 years ago.  That's a question that'll never be answered, I guess.  Ask me again in another 20 years.

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Original interview by Dan Schawbel posted on the Personal Branding Blog

Steve Farber is a leading business motivational speaker and the president of Extreme Leadership, Inc-an organization devoted to the cultivation and development of Extreme Leaders in the business community. His best-selling book, The Radical Leap: A Personal Lesson in Extreme Leadership was recently named one of The 100 Best Business Books of All Time. His second book, The Radical Edge: Stoke Your Business, Amp Your Life, and Change the World, was hailed as "a playbook for harnessing the power of the human spirit." His newest book, Greater Than Yourself: The Ultimate Lesson of True Leadership, was recently published by Doubleday/Random House.

I've never met anyone who said they left a company because they were recognized too much, and, I would guess, neither have you. We crave for others to notice our work, appreciate our accomplishments and recognize our contributions.  Leaders make a practice of doing just that.

The most impressive leaders--the Extreme Leaders--go way beyond recognizing and rewarding others.  What they have, in fact, is a boundless fascination with and gratitude for the people around them-colleagues and customers alike. They notice others' accomplishments, to be sure, but they also learn their stories, understand their challenges, and absorb their hopes, dreams and aspirations.

Why?  Because they love the human drama (and comedy) and are driven by a desire to help, to make a difference, and to hold on to the very things that make us human. Extreme Leaders are awake, attentive, and observant to and about the lives of others while they simultaneously strive to make the business more productive and profitable.  And, most important, they understand that a fulfilling life and a thriving business are not mutually exclusive ideas.

Consider Dick, a mid-level vice president at a formidable national bank.  He ran the check processing operation in the bank's corporate facility.  It was the closest thing a bank has to a manufacturing operation and it had an ethnically diverse, primarily blue-collar employee base.  Dick beamed with pride and enthusiasm whenever he would tell story after story of unprecedented productivity increases and skyrocketing employee morale.

Dick rarely used the pronoun, "I," as in, "I've done this; I've accomplished that."  He also rarely used the word "we."  Instead, he told story after story about individual people and how they'd risen to conquer one enormous challenge after another.  And he told many of those stories with the hero standing right there.  Some appeared embarrassed by the spotlight, but every one of them, without exception, expressed some variation of a glowing "thank you" before scurrying back to work.

It's not as though Dick didn't have an ego.  He could puff out his chest along with the best of them.  But he always brought it back to one central theme: his deep gratitude for his employees' spunk, imagination, personalities and drive.  Simply put, Dick loved the individuals on his team-even the ones he eventually had to let go.

Several years later, after his promotion to Sr. Vice President (which was essentially deity status at the bank) surviving a merger and moving to another division, Dick was charged with conducting what some euphemistically call a "reduction in force."  Over a 12-month period, he culled his division from 1500 people down to 175-mostly through outsourcing.  During that same period, however, employee satisfaction percentages went from the mid 70's to the high 80's, raising steadily all throughout the process.  That was-to put it mildly-counter-intuitive.  And it wasn't because the survivors where happy to still have a job (which they were), but anyone who's ever been through a lay-off will tell you that the event is usually characterized by increased stress, cynicism and even paranoia.  That was not the case in Dick's domain.

When asked him how he accounted for the amazing spirit and morale even as people were jetting out the door, he said, "Two things: I kept everyone involved, and I continued to let them know I cared-every day."

And that's really the whole point: he knew their stories because he cared about them, and they knew he cared because he knew their stories; consequently, even through the most difficult of times, his team put their full effort into everything they did.

Can you say the same about your team?  The good news is that Dick's "story-learner" ability wasn't genetically encoded in his DNA.  He learned how to do it by making a practice of fascination and gratitude and so can you by following these steps:

• Write down the names of one or two key people internal to your business (colleagues, employees, staff, managers, partners, associates, etc.) and one or two key external people (customers, vendors, suppliers, etc.)

• List everything you know about each person-beyond the "function" he or she serves. Assess how much you know or don't know about each as a human being.

• Ask each person to tell you one important story or event from his or her life. Or look for an opportunity to find out more during your next conversation. Ask each to share with you his or her number one business challenge.

• Ask if there's some way you can be of service-something you can do to help with each person's challenge. Even if that person declines your offer, he or she will always appreciate your asking.

• Pick one or two more people and do it again.

• Repeat until you run out of people-for the rest of your life, in other words.

For some, this practice may be awkward-even difficult-at first.  Like anything else, however, being a "story learner" becomes easier with practice.  And the payoff you'll receive in your employees' morale, engagement and productivity will be well worth the price of any initial discomfort you may have to invest.

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"True leadership is not about calling yourself ‘leader'; rather, it's about taking up the cause to change things for the better. It is an extreme act rooted in love and motivated by a desire to create a better world-whether it's the world of your company, team, neighborhood or family." - Steve Farber

Steve Farber is the best-selling author of one of The 100 Best Business Books of All Time, Greater Than Yourself.   As an accomplished senior-level leadership speaker and a frequent guest on news-talk shows around the country, Steve Farber has gained a reputation as a "leadership guru" in his own right.